My Number 1 Pet Peeve

Greetings, Hello, Hi, Hola, Bonjour! Happy New Year! How unnu duh? We made it to another year. Give thanks.

I'm starting the year by discussing my #1 pet peeve. Let me warn you I am very passionate about this one so it might come across as a bit of a rant. Brace for impact!

Can we all collectively release the tendency to pretend we do not know our children? May we free ourselves of the mek-mi-see-weh-him-aguh-duh-itis? You know that whenever you're in the supermarket parking lot and you release Little Jacob's hand, he takes off running to who knows where. Why would you then let his hand go? To see what he is going to do? You already know what he is going to do. It's the same thing he always does. I guarantee you this time will not be any different. This is just one example of many but the premise remains the same. We allow a child to do something they are not allowed to do and then we are SHOCKED when they do the thing they are not supposed to do.

Here's why it annoys me so much. From a behaviour management point of view, mek-mi-see-weh-him-aguh-duh-itis causes an unwanted behaviour to persist. Each time a child gets to do something they should not do it teaches them that the behaviour is acceptable. It teaches them that even though they were told "no" they can still do xyz if they are faster, louder, cry harder, hit, scream, bite or spit.

This is what I want you to do instead. Anticipate that the unwanted behaviour is going to happen and prevent it from happening. Then praise your child for demonstrating a the behaviour. Using the example from above, when you take Little Jacob out of his car seat hold his hand or shirt if he is sensitive to touch so he cannot run away. Then say "good job walking with mommy/aunty/daddy/grandma/whoever." I promise you by at least the 3rd trip to the supermarket you should see some level of improvement. With time, when the behaviour is established, you will be able to let Little Jacob walk beside you freely but until he understands the expected behaviour you have to hold him.

And to the parents who say "but Alexia, I cya bother hold him every time" I say "I hope you enjoy running down Big Jacob who is 10x faster and 10x stronger than Little Jacob."

Caring and wonderful parents who want the best for their child, I beg of you, please make leaving mek-mi-see-weh-him-aguh-duh-itis in 2025 your number 1 New Year Resolution. Thanks for reading and join me next time for my rant on Pet Peeve #2: "He's not listening to me"