My Number 2 Pet Peeve

Last week we spoke about how much it grinds my gears when caregivers have a case of mek-mi-see-weh-him-aguh-duh-itis. This week we're going to tackle when caregivers give up when they're working on a behaviour because a child is not listening to them.

My favourite thing to say during my presentations is this: "Children are little aliens. They just arrived on planet earth and they know how to eat, sleep, cry and use the bathroom. Everything else they need to be taught." We all forget how little we knew when we were their age. Wi never born big! Keeping this in mind it helps change the way we interact with all children, not just the ones who are neurodivergent.

When you give a child an instruction and they do not follow through with it, the possibility exists that they do not understand what you are asking them to do. My recommendation is providing additional information to make your message even clearer. You could pair your directive with some visual cues such as pointing or even tactile cues such as leading the child in the direction of the request. For example instead of saying sit down you could point to the chair and gently nudge them in the direction of the chair.

In cases where you tell a child not to do something or to stop doing something, if they are allowed to continue doing that thing then chances are they are going to ignore your command. Why should I stop jumping on the bed? I'm having so much fun. My desire to keep jumping is greater than my desire to listen to you. I've also figured out that if I keep trying enough times you will eventually get tired and give up and let me do what I want.

If you want a child to listen to you, then you have to show them that you mean what you say. When you say no, they should not be allowed to do whatever behaviour you are trying to prevent. THIS DOES NOT REQUIRE BEATING!!!! If the behaviour is jumping on the bed, take the child from standing on the bed and prevent them from climbing on it again (pro-tip channel that energy into a safer activity such as jumping on a trampoline). If the behaviour is throwing their bowl to the floor when they finish a meal, anticipate when this might happen and model putting the bowl on the counter when finished.

For my caregivers who say they don't have time to do all that, perhaps you have time to clean up the mess on the floor after every meal.None of these behaviours are fixed overnight. Don't expect it to work after one go. Consider this an investment into your and your child's future. The work you put in today will translate into time you save in the future.

Ok, I think that's the last of my pet peeves. If anything new should pop up, you will be the first to know! Stay safe and reach out if you have any questions