Adults Need to Wait Too!

Picture yourself in the kitchen making lunch when your sister comes in and begins talking to you.

"Have you seen my burgundy belt?" she asks as you busily grate a block of cheese for your pasta.

"What?" you respond as you pull your attention away from the cutting board in front of you and the thoughts swirling around in your head to face her.

Seconds later, you say:

"Oh! It's hanging on the hook behind the bathroom door."

You heard her initially; your brain just needed a moment to catch up.

How would you feel if your sister kept repeating "Have you seen my burgundy belt?" while waiting for you to respond? That would get annoying very quickly, don't you think?

What if I told you we do the same thing with children all the time? We ask them a question, and if we don't get a response within three seconds, we repeat the question until either we get an answer or everyone becomes so frustrated that we just move on.

Sometimes, our neurodivergent babies take a little longer to process information. When we repeat our questions, we interrupt them and increase the time it takes them to listen, understand and respond to what is being said to them. When we slow ourselves down and wait for an answer, we give our children additional time they need to process information.

So, here's your homework for the week. Yes, I'm giving you homework! I am going to challenge you to switch things up a little bit by making one simple change. I want you to silently count to 15 after you ask a question or make a comment. It might feel like a painfully long time but I promise you it will be worth it. Try it for a week and let me know what you notice!